As it turned out her timing was pretty good. She arrived at the hospital in early active labor.  She was planning a water birth and had to wait to get in the tub until she was 7cm.  Once they ran through the preliminaries of paperwork and monitoring she was able to get back in the shower where she had already been finding lots of comfort. I felt she was handling things very well. She had found a good vocalization that was working well for her and when it was time for her to get into the tub it brought even greater relief,  her contractions were running very close and getting stronger and stronger. She moved to 9 1/2 cm pretty quickly. It seemed to all of us that baby would be here very soon.

And…the unpredictable way that babies arrive into the world left us through the next hours facing wave after wave of surrender. Fernanda stayed strong and focused, allowing the water and her vocalizations to keep her calm. Her husband and mother both too had to find that place of surrender, trusting, waiting…. Contractions slowed down, exams were showing an anterior lip, just a small one, but enough to keep baby from descending far enough down.

We thought of lots of ways to help her move in the water to open things up. Fernanda moved through different positions, swaying her hips in the water,  listening to her body and moving to help the baby move. It can be frustrating to be so close and yet feel that you are still so far away. After several hours she made the decision to let the midwife break her water, in hopes that would create additional movement and allow her to stay in the water without  additional monitoring. The midwife was hoping to keep her from having to get out of the tub, due to the rules of 4 hour monitoring required. Breaking her water brought on much more intense contractions.

I watched Fernanda constantly dip into her internal well of strength and keep moving, helping her baby labor down, letting the water, movement and voice be her pain relief.  When she felt enough pressure to start a focused pushing she pushed for 2 hours. Concentration and focus seemed to be her greatest gifts. Even when I know she was feeling like she couldn’t go another step I watched her let go a little more and keep her focus.

Fernanda shared with me during her prenatal visit that through out her pregnancy her body just continued to surprise her. She felt strong and healthy and one of her top 5 desires for her birth was that her body continue to surprise  her. I believe that is exactly what happened. She demonstrated a calm and powerful woman, moving and listening to her body with little need of intervention. She trusted her body that it knew just what to do…and of course…it did. Even in the difficult challenging moments, it seemed obvious to me that she remained true to that trust.

We watched the hours tick by in the end. A waiting game that is never easy on anyone…especially mamas. This little guy wanted to be born on Thanksgiving and so…he was…at 1:03 a.m. Of course we were all in grand celebration at his emergence. The gratitude and relief spilling over  everyone as we greeted this little new person into the world. When I left them they were wrapped in a bubble of bliss. I drove a very elated Grandma home for some rest.

I plan to write the complete birthing story when I get more time but thought I would give you a summary of how it all happened.

I woke up on Saturday morning and spent the morning hanging out with my older son.  Around 1pm, I went to the restroom and noticed what I suspected was my mucous plug so I called Anjli (Intown Midwifery) and she confirmed that it was the mucous plug.  She asked how I was feeling and I told her I felt just fine with no cramping or contractions.  She said that it could be a few hours to a few days before I went into labor but that it’s coming.  After getting off the phone, I went downstairs and had lunch with the family but then I wasn’t feeling well so after lunch (around 2:15pm) I came upstairs to take a nap but instead realized that I was having contractions.  I decided to take a bath thinking that if it wasn’t true labor then things would die down but in the tub, my contractions continued to get stronger.  I told my husband to pack the car because we were probably headed to the hospital in a few hours.  When I got out of the tub, my contractions were only 2.5 minutes apart but they were only lasting 30 seconds.  We called Charlotte and Anjli again and they both agreed that I could either wait a couple more hours or I could go on in.  I decided to go in because I wasn’t sure if I could sit through the 45 minute car ride with even more intense contractions if I waited.  So around 4:15pm we started our journey to AMC.  I continued to breathing deeply with each contraction and yell at my husband between contractions criticizing his driving.  We reached AMC  little after 5 and I opted to go through the main entrance and not the ER because I didn’t want to sit any longer.  After getting into cat/cow position in the lobby to get through a contraction (reminded me of Emily during that exercise when she pushed the baby put), we made our way up to the 7th floor.  When we got into the triage room, I asked the nurse if needed to change into a gown and she said not yet because she wanted to check me to see if we were going to stay or leave so I slipped off my pants only.  Lying down for them to check the fetal heart rate was the hardest thing ever and then when she went to check me, all I could think is that I better be more than 3cm and that 6cm would be ideal because during my prenatal appointment with Charlotte we set 6cm as a goal to reach before asking for the epidural.  Yep, my birthing plan included getting the epidural.  I never wanted to have a completely natural birth, I just wanted to get to a point where the epidural didn’t slow down labor to the point I needed pitocin.  My goal was to avoid pitocin.  Well, it turns out I was completely dilated and the baby was on his way out so the nurse ran out yelling for Anjli.  Anjli came in and I begged for pain medication and she said it was too late.  Being a Pharmacist, I started naming EVERY pain medication I could think of and she looked me in the eyes and said, “you can do this”.  I was screaming, “I can’t do this”, “I need my mommy”, ” Why can’t you give me something” and then somewhere between pushing I came to gripes with the fact that the baby was coming and that’s when I started to think of things we went over in class.  I went into silence and closed my eyes and only listened to Charlotte’s voice (she was my doula) as we did during the yoga nidras in class.  I felt each contraction was a step closer to meeting my baby and within minutes, I was holding my baby.  A few minutes later, Charlotte asked if I wanted to take my shirt off so we could have skin to skin contact…..I then came back to reality and realized I delivered in the triage room and never did change into a hospital gown, I was still wearing the t-shirt I come in with. I did it…not only did I make it past 6cm, I gave birth the way I was meant to all along!!!

As far as my experience at AMC, I couldn’t have asked for anything better.  I remember during the tour I thought that AMC doesn’t look as comfortable and definitely not as nice as Northside.  What I learned is the view makes up for any additional features Northside provides and the nursing staff actually gets to know you during their shift….so my experience was so much better than Northside.  Everyone said the food isn’t the best as AMC so I made sure I just ordered food that I wanted and thought was safe….I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and had family bring in food for other meals.

Carrie called me at 8:30 pm, having just left church where she was beginning to have some serious contractions. I listened carefully to her voice and it sounded as if she was in early labor, she was calm , but wanted to let me know she was going home and pack and head to the hospital.  We had several conversations about the speed with which her last child entered the world and we didn’t want to risk the 45 minute drive to the hospital.

I was drumming outdoors with my drum group and decided to finish up and take the drums home.  I was able to go home, change clothes, pack and get on the road  before I heard from Carrie’s husband that they were headed to the hospital.

We decided I would meet them there. It was 10:17 pm. By 11:00 I arrived at the hospital to find the two of them walking the halls…Carrie looks at me and says “we got some work to do…” Her cervix had been checked, contractions had stopped for the most part and she was found to be 3 centimeters. We walked the halls and gave her a chance to tune in with her body and see if we could get things moving again. It is not uncommon for labor to slow down once woman get into the hospital environment. But it is unpredictable how long it can take to move back into a good rhythm.

As we walked contractions picked up, but were erratic. We had about an hour before they checked her again and when they did they found no changes to her cervix. The mid wife suggested Ambien so that she might go home and sleep for  a few hours. She was happy and chatty and still a bit modest and those are signs  usually indicative of early, not active.. labor. Later I was very grateful that Carrie chose not to take anything to sleep. She promised to try to rest on her own.

The level of pain isn’t usually  the best monitor for where a labor has progressed. It’s usually the attitude and atmosphere of the mother.  Carrie was relaxed, coping well with her discomfort and still very much engaged in what was going on around her. Perhaps she was feeling nervous, but it didn’t show.

However, once we got to the exit and it was time for her to get in the car  she gave me a very serious look and asked me to come back to her house with her. I was very relieved she asked.  After all…birth is unpredictable.

Once home I encouraged her to shower and try to sleep. I could tell from the sounds I was hearing that she wasn’t going to rest much…I decided to squeeze in a power nap while she tried.

Her husband reports from the balcony down to me in the living room…Carrie felt the baby move significantly while in the shower, thinking perhaps she changed positions, she had been feeling a good deal of back labor and we had been trying to guide the baby in to a better position.

NO naps for any of us, they came downstairs pretty quickly.   Things still appeared as before but seeming to intensify.   By all indications she was moving in to active labor.  I did mention…the hospital was 45 minutes away…I say to her husband…time to get ready to go…well….no….maybe not…

and

suddenly, in a quick turn of events that had us all in a prayerful moment little Olivia insisted it was her time.

YES…NOW.

She arrived very quickly at 4:55 a.m into the world,  in her home, into her parents arms…pretty and pink…just like we like them to be.  It’s mind boggling to think that a mere two hours before we were standing in the lobby of the hospital contemplating our next step.

There were 5 things that I asked Carrie to list for me that were the most important things for her to have for her birth. I think they deserve to be repeated here…I believe she had them all.

1. Healthy baby
2. Fast labor process
3. Immediate connection with baby and parents.
4. Medication free
5. Plenty of love, less “clinical” introduction for baby to the world.

I especially love number 5. I know that it wasn’t planned to happen in the living room of her home and being transported to the hospital holding her baby…but I have no doubt that this little girl got exactly what her mother hoped for. Fast…oh my yes….she was born with an immediate connection to her parents, into a beautiful space of devotion and love, yes…medication free and certainly…no clinical birth for this little girl for sure.

As for me…the doula… well, let’s just say I will never be the same. I am grateful for the love and guidance that takes me through life and places me exactly where I am meant to be with divine timing. I am grateful for the 37 years of motherhood that prepared me in the ways of handling crisis…act now…freak out later and I thank little Olivia for the inspiration to embark on taking some midwife classes. Who knows where that might lead…

This was a long week for Anna, we had several conversations in the middle of the night, texts and emails throughout her days as she felt each and every contraction that began gently and slowly, but very much getting her attention.

According to her midwife she was 2cm and only partially effaced on  the 20th,  she was extremely positive and staying very busy,  moving into her wonderful new home and chasing after her very precocious and active 2 year old daughter. Amongst the busy-ness though her body began to demand her attention. Easy contractions  were making themselves known, even possibly present due to needing water or over doing. We talked and she would remind herself about the slowing down, about drinking water.  As the days progressed, especially the nights she would have contractions picking up…getting closer together, feeling stronger and then a shower or some sleep would slow them back down.

On Thursday, the 28th (6 days prior to birth) we talked about how she could use some of the things we talked about in her prenatal. Sitting on the ball, using the ball for child’s pose, a yoga move called pigeon…ball supported, doing some hip circles and “Dancing for Birth (TM)” moves I had shown her. Hip circles are a wonderful asset to oncoming labor. She made a plan to start moving inward and listen to the needs of her body..rest…water…

Another midwife appointment revealed nothing had changed, still the same, 2 cm and only 50% effaced. She was told to go home, eat some chocolate, she WAS NOT in labor. These are never words a mom wants to hear, especially one that has been contracting already and hoping for progress. But Anna stayed very positive and feeling as if everything was happening just as it should. She was enjoying the chance to feel her way through her labor, something she missed out on due to an induced and medicated birth the first time around.

On Friday Anna began to notice a change in her contractions. Her back was beginning to ache a lot with each one, the cramping was getting more intense and she talked about new sensations that were moving through her belly. Contractions were still erratic but more intense. I was beginning to notice how they were consistently lasting at least a minute. Something I don”t usually see until later in labor. Something was beginning to nag at me, a feeling that this baby was not quite positioned optimally for birth. Although erratic and inconsistent contractions don’t necessarily mean that, I was feeling a need to perhaps make a visit to Anna’s and see if we couldn’t do some things to help if that was the case.

Upon looking at Anna it appeared to me that her baby was lying transverse, side to side alignment. Upon closer inspection it seemed that her baby’s  bottom was up in Anna’s right rib cage and her head was up against her left hip bone. We spent about an hour or so on Saturday doing moving to help things along.  Dancing for Birth (TM) has given me a lot of moves that can help realign and position a baby not quite in its birthing place. We also did some yoga, on the ball and on the floor. I encouraged her to use these things regularly. I suggested even time spent sitting on the ball would help.

When she stood up from our time together and we did some walking around the room I took a look at her belly, it looked much different. Although baby was still predominantly on the right side, she seemed much more vertical. What  I could now do was go home and trust mother nature to do her job.

I received a couple of calls through the night from Anna, some mucousy fluid and bloody show were followed by stronger contractions. It was morning though before her contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute each. She made a decision to go to the hospital, feeling concerned that the distance would be too great if she got much more uncomfortable. After arrival though, as often can happen, contractions slowed down and during the whole paperwork process almost stopped.

Finally, left alone to labor, at least for a little while…walking, moving and taking  some time in an effort to get things back to the pre-chaotic hospital state.  Time gave way to contractions, although erratic, but steadily getting stronger. Anna was handling each change very well. A few trips around the halls would get them going pretty good, but when tethered to the fetal monitor things would slow down and decrease. Something was going on, we weren’t certain of what it was, but trusted the possibility that my suspicions of fetal positioning problems might be slowing things down we kept moving, adjusting her body in an attempt to move the contractions away from her back. We did  lots of  hip circles and “dance” moves, specific yoga postures and Anna’s favored position of child’s pose on the ball. This is a great support for labor, we consider this as moving the baby “into the hammock” where there is plenty of room to maneuver.

The monitor was an often intruded inconvenience. Of course the insistence of every hour for at least 20 minutes was demanded. Around noon or a bit after the monitor was picking up Sarah on the opposite side, the left side. She had been lying on the right the whole time, they had always picked up her heartbeat just above Anna’s right hip. They left her for quite some time on the monitors this time, the midwife was directing that the monitors stay on. Even indicating that she would not be able to continue unmonitored. There was growing concern about a low base line, picking up mom and baby’s heart rate together, decels with contractions. My concern was that she was pinching her chord and was doing so after she made the “flip” from one side to the other. The concern of the staff was also chord compression.

This was a huge turning point for the Midwife. She started talking in an aggressive approach kind of way. She mentioned C-section. There were plans within the couple to get a second opinion, to call the physician of the practice..they were considering whatever option they had to take to make sure the right decision for them and their baby was being made. I noticed Anna’s calm. It was wonderful for me to see a woman moving through these mysterious waters so calmly. I am sure there was great concern for the safety of her daughter. But what I saw was calmness, and her entire focus on…what do we do next?

While the midwife was away we went on the assumption that if we move the mother we move the baby. We got a very tired Anna up on her feet and moving around. On her hands and knees on the bed seemed to be the best position when it came to Sarah’s response to her contractions. The midwife wanted to break Anna’s water to insert internal monitoring to make sure exactly how the baby was doing. Upon exam though it was determined that Anna’s water had already broken, a fact that we suspected but weren’t focusing on. The nurse had earlier used an amniotic swab to determine if it had and it came back negative. A fact that felt as if the birthing goddesses were looking over us. Ruptured membranes gets a very harsh treatment, constant fetal monitoring and an ever impending time limit. When the midwife found there to be no membranes the decision to have the internal monitors put in place seemed like a good one in Anna’s mind. She was so tired of the belts that just seemed to create more stress and was not helping. There was also a decision to allow for amniotic infusion and an iv for fluids for Anna. The infusion was to assist in case there was chord compression somewhere, it was believed that it would help float the chord.

Whether it was the fluids, the movement or just the natural progression of labor there was a turning point. Little Sarah began have great accelerations. She eventually settled in to an acceptable pattern and both Mom and baby got a little rest. But…with another visit from the midwife came another round of unwelcomed news. She was discouraged by the slow labor. She had checked Anna and found her to be 5 cm, which was no change from hours before. She was suggesting the introduction of pitocin. The midwife mistakenly said 6 hours, but it was closer to 3. It did seem a bit premature, since most of those 3 hours was spent repositioning for the baby, clearing the chord issue we assumed and some resting. Anna and her husband insisted on more time. Give me an hour she said. And gladly, the room emptied and the three of us went to work. Anna’s attitude was that she had an hour to make a big change and no matter what..she would make that change.

We did a combination of things that had worked up to this point but I had something tucked in my “tool bag” that I had been feeling it was time to use. We did what is called a “pelvic floor release”  for three contractions, we then had her turn over on her back and I did a technique called diaphragmatic release. , Anna remembered the suggestion of the nurse to try nipple stimulation, it releases hormones into the body that stimulate labor and she added that to the release. In moments her body shook in a wave, something completely different was taking over. We were planning on getting up and moving to some of her favorite music after that but she decided she needed to stand up and go to the bathroom instead. She and David went into the bathroom together and had some time to focus with just each other. Very quickly she began making the sounds of a woman in transition, her body convulsing as the pushing urge took over her.

The nurse and midwife came into the room just at their one hour promised time to find Anna, deep into transition. They ushered her to the bed where they checked her cervix to find her fully dilated and baby’s head reachable. To their amazement they had to hop to it to get themselves ready. Anna was able to push on her hands and knees for just a few pushes, pushing her baby out with relative ease. It was a beautiful site and a wondrous feeling. I could see the joy on the couples’  face. It was not just the arrival of this baby girl, but the feeling of having conquered the impossible. Joyful tears filled the room. Mine were included.

Dilating 5cm in 1 hour is pretty amazing.  It reminds me how all things are possible. There was so much negativity and doubt being delivered by their care provider, but all I saw on the face of these parents was a determined focus. They banded together and faced each moment together, urging their daughter into the world, through love. If fear was present…it wasn’t here in the room. It might have been hanging outside the door…but here, just open welcoming arms for a safe passage.

I walked away impressed, imbued with hope and a deeper sense of belief in things I already held true. I took a look at this little one’s astrology as I always do on my arrival home and the thing that stood out the most was the power of transformation that will no doubt follow this delightful girl throughout her life. She sure arrived in one of the most profound transformations I have seen in some time.

The choices women make during birth are often made one at a time. You walk in with a “plan” and hope to be able to stick to it as much as possible. The path to birth can often change in midstream and each leg of the journey takes delving deep into your reserves and coming forth with the next right move.

In the midst of a thunderstorm late one night Gayle’s water broke, containing meconium. The presence of meconium meant that her plan to labor at home as long as possible had been superseded by the need to be protective and safeguarding her son’s arrival. Heading out into the storm they made their way to the hospital, were admitted and discovered that she was dilated to only 1-2 cm and  contractions had not yet begun. The first hurdle to climb was surrendering to being on a full time monitor and laboring at the hospital instead of comfortably at home.And while the safety of baby trumps personal preferences, there is also the emotional hurdle of letting go of the “plan.”

My plan after their last call was to sleep, feeling that my strength would be needed by morning and I wanted to be ready to meet the challenge. I did not sleep well. Each time I feel asleep I woke up to dreaming that I was at the hospital with Gayle. About every hour or so I would wake up and realize I was still in my bed. At 5 am I awoke to a knowing. I needed to go. It was helpful that her husband later told me, he felt my timing was perfect. I was glad I listened to my intuition.

When I arrived I discovered that their night had felt productive to them. Her contractions had picked up good and strong and she was moving through them well, they had done that for several hours. However, by the time  I arrived at 6:30 am things had stalled out and not much was happening. In this situation if her water had not broken the night before they would likely have sent her home and asked her to come back later. We did not have that choice.

Gayle  asked for a “reprieve” from the constant monitoring so that she might get a shower.  Staff was able to get a strip of responsive time on baby and gave her permission. Another hurdle crossed, yes..they wanted to be in charge but she did have a voice. I know that was a very enjoyable shower for her. Between the shower, some walking around and movement  and gravity Gayle’s labor once again picked up and started moving. In fact, she moved well into contractions that were 3 minutes apart and lasting a minute or longer. There was a point, I even felt as if she might be headed towards transition. Her body language and her contractions gave every indication that she was progressing very well. The morning melted into afternoon and the hours of the day crept by one by one.

At 2:20 pm  the OB came in to check her progress and reported that she was  4-5 cm. She did an exceptionally painful exam, popping a small sac of membrane and stretching open her cervix. It created a series of very strong contractions that seemed to pick things up even more and creating a great deal of discomfort. Gayle was handling the increased sensations very well. She moved within to a quiet place and worked through them one at a time.  The intensity and the frequency were increasing and holding often at 3 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute often longer. Those long lasting contractions are the ones we want, they dilate the cervix and bring the baby down.

The next great hurdle came when the nurse came in and said that the Dr. wanted to assess her progress. She had been laboring hard for several hours, I believe they too thought things were progressing well. As it turned out she was still 5cm. All of us, Gayle, her husband Eddie and myself all expected that number to be higher. This is the fallback to vaginal exams during labor. Perhaps if we had gone with our own assumptions things might have continued to change, even if that was slow. But the news came like a weight, especially to Daddy, raising doubt and uncertainty.

Gayle was amazing though. She kept digging deep within herself to not let that rule her thoughts and push forward. She would get up and walk around to hopefully stimulate progress, and we hit walls. Sometimes small ones, sometimes big ones and Gayle kept climbing the next hurdle taking them one at a time. Up on her feet and moving she would contract strong and frequent, she would rest or lie down and her contractions would slowly move farther and farther apart and at times slow to nothing.

She was exhausted, sleep walking (or sleep dancing with hubby) or crawling into bed to sleep through just a few contractions, while she carved out the much needed time to prevent an unwanted intervention.  She received some IV fluids at 9:30 and started to have some considerable back labor. She pushed through the challenges, moving around as much as she could, dealing with her aching hips and the onset of back labor. The clock was ticking away, I know the three of us tried to avoid watching the time click by but we knew that there was a 24 hour limit to the insistence of an intervention.  As midnight rolled around we began to have the talk about what the next best thing would be. Even though I could see she wrestled with herself about having hands up inside of her yet one more time she gave in to an exam before agreeing to the introduction of pitocin. There was some wavering in both of them prior to the exam but the news of 5cm was disheartening and eventually Gayle felt the next best thing for her and her baby was to allow a small dose of pitocin.

Contractions began to ride one into the next, between each one I believe all three of us might have been dozing. Sleeping in the almost nonexistent  rest cycles and giving her pressure, support and energy to get through each contraction. I have to say at this point how amazing it is that she wasn’t even talking pain medications. Even though Eddie brought the conversation to light she moved past it and if she were debating it on the inside I never saw it.

Again they checked her at 2:25 a.m. after the pit had been nudged up each half hour. She was 8 cm. It wasn’t long before she was feeling the pressure to push, but it would be hours before she was able to push him out.  WE later learned a nuchal chord was wrapped around him once and it was making it hard for him to emerge. It was likely the stress he was experiencing in all of his attempts to push through her cervix was the interference of his chord. For nearly 3 hours Gayle gave all of her effort and then some to bringing her little guy into the world.  The heaviness of effort and weariness cloaked the room with focused intensity,and at  5:57 a.m. 30 hours after her water broke and in the middle of yet another thunderstorm little Maxwell emerged and the energy in the room was completely changed. Gayle was suddenly lively and full of energy, sparkling eyes and I believe words like “holy f….k” on her lips.

It was unfortunate that those following moments also did not meet Gayle’s plans. She had to give her new son a quick peck on the cheek while he was whisked away to NICU, to make sure he was alright after his long ordeal. It was interesting to note that upon being born he cried and squirmed and generally sounded unhappy, but when presented all bundled up to his mama he became quiet and peaceful  Just the feel of her breath on him and he was soothed instantly. He was followed by a dazed and a little bit loopy daddy to NICU. Fortunately his stay was not lasting.

We use the term “warrior women” amongst ourselves as doulas. We seem women at their most courageous, their most vulnerable and witness the incredible strength and fortitude that they have. That causes us to give them the title we bestow in awe and honor. Gayle came through her birth with all the strength of a warrior. She pushed herself past places she most likely didn’t even know she had. She held as true to her birthing beliefs and desires as she felt supported her and her baby in the moment. It takes as much strength to surrender and allow changes to your plan as  it does to ask yourself to push beyond your conceived limitations. We welcome you to a long line of warrior women Gayle and in to the welcoming circle of motherhood.

Maxwell  was born with 4 planets in Aries. Aries is the sign of the warrior, ruled by the planet Mars. It all seemed rightly fitting that he began his entry into the world and his labor journey in a thunderstorm and emerged during a thunderstorm. I am reminded by an image of Mars the Warrior God from mythology with a spear in his hand made from a lightening bolt.  May the force be with you, little man.

When Brittany’s due date was calculated she walked away with well…maybe the 7th and maybe the 13th.  When we met for her prenatal and talked about how the pregnancy was progressing we agreed it was likely she would begin labor prior to the 7th.  A visit to the OB and the information that she was 2cm and partially effaced, followed with a little bloody show, it seemed very encouraging. That was on March 5th.  A few days of light contractions and the hoped for “due date” of the 7th came and went. I could feel her discouragement. It was easy for me to stay open and trusting as I have been watching baby’s be born for many decades now and they always seem to be on their own time schedule, not ours. On the 9th another trip to the OB and after checking found to be 4cm and her cervix was thinning nicely. And yet…the second calculated due date came and went. I know those were frustrating days for her, trying to be patient and open, waiting, hoping, the light contractions that didn’t seem to be moving forward and  really kicking in to speed things up. Although there were plenty of contractions they appeared gentle and easily managed.

IF ONLY…in these last few days mamas could slip away into a place where time didn’t exist. No clocks, no calendars, no Iphones clicking away the minutes, no OB/midwife offer to guage that time by the progression your cerix. Even more helpful if they could turn off the phones and shut down facebook and suspend themselves in this pre-birth cocoon for as much time as baby needs. I know, well meaning friends and family check in almost constantly…are you there yet? Is is time?  Are you feeling anything? You know…tomorrow would be a perfect day, could you do it tomorrow? In fact Brittany and I had a good laugh about women not having one of those pop up turkey timers that says…I’m ready!

But the truth is…

it takes what it takes and if allowed babies come when their timing is perfect.

On March 15th…(now 6 days after being told she is 4cm) at 3 am Brittany woke up to some blood and light “cramps,” a call to her midwife reassured her that it would be a good idea to head to the hospital. We talked, she was a little worried about going too early and having to succumb to the hospital time frame. I on the other hand was throwing my clothes on the minute I got her first call thinking this was going to start happening very fast. I can’t say it always happens, but with all that early “predomal” labor I had a feeling the next leg of her journey was going to sail by. This was baby #2 and that increased the likelihood of a shortened labor.

It was a very stormy night, I drove, well I crept, through sheets of water pouring from the sky and drowning the roadway. I kept thinking about Brittany and Pete making their way through the downpour and I felt relieved that they were so close to the hospital.
I arrived a bit after them at 4:30 am. She had been in the tub and now out she was struggling some with getting comfortable and relaxed and focused. It is a transition for both mother and baby to leave the comfort of home and enter into the hospital where people are doing things to you and asking you questions and lots of distractions pull you out of the focus of what is happening within you. It wasn’t long until she was able to make that shift and tune back in to her body and her baby.

It seemed as I observed her contractions that they were coming fairly regular but not with much intensity. She might tell you a different story but from my point of view they were not hitting those longer, stronger contractions that dilate and open. I suggested we take a walk. She was able to make about three times around the nurses station, stopping to lean on Pete and sway through her contractions, walking and talking in between. She had the “look” of a woman in the beginnings of active labor. Of course that “leg” of labor can last for many hours…but I was feeling something entirely different on the horizon. Perhaps it was all the fast births I had been at lately or just an intuitive hunch but something told me she would not be at this for long. Once back in the room her breathing became much more focused, the time in between contractions was getting shorter and she was having a harder time finding a position that worked for her. She was noticing a lot more pressure. I gave her a massage, using a little essential oil (Release Blend). She seemed most comfortable when Pete was holding her and I was behind her doing the double hip squeeze and adding some cool wash clothes to her neck with a touch of aromatherapy.

I could tell by the sounds coming from Brittany baby wasn’t far away. So could the nurses, they came flooding into the room as if summoned. The time was now 7:10 am, we had only been at the hospital since 4 am. The next few minutes were very surreal. The nurse came in to hook up the monitor, but she wasn’t getting a good reading. Brittany stood up to see if she could get a better attachment and everything began to change in rapid movement. Brittany gave out a yelp and the room filled as the staff responded to the familiar and primal sounds of a woman about to give birth. The midwife swept in and somewhere between standing and lying on her side this  little girl insisted on popping her head out into the world. Pushing wasn’t something anyone even mentioned as much as just watched happen. Within seconds baby was lying up on her mother’s tummy all squishy and pink.

Time…everything in its time. My card from “Dancing for Birth” class this morning was “I trust divine timing.” Those moments just before Parrish entered the world time seemed to stop. Everything slowed down and sped up all at once.  One moment a couple working hard through labor and everything in front of them a veil of  vast unknown. In moments, maybe three breaths, a tiny pink bundle of baby girl emerged, filling that void and imbued those moments with the joyful sounds of her first cries.

Time, those days prior to her birth while those early contractions were helping her into her perfect positioning and she, unlike the rest of us…wasn’t watching a calendar, she knew her moment and wow! did she make an entrance. Her astrology chart is loaded with Aries and Pisces. The fire of Aries that will just “get her done” and says ” look out! get outa my way! I got stuff to do!”  combined with the beautiful still waters of Pisces to  throw a little water on that fire and soothe it with depth and compassion.

Welcome to the world little one. You are in wonderful hands.

Birth is a journey that begins long before the actual manifestation of a new person. There is beauty in nature, the 9 months of development create both mother and child. There is much that can go in to the planning and the embracing of the beautiful journey that is pregnancy and childbirth.

Stephanie’s journey brings the above quote to mind so easily. From our first conversations I felt her calm and loving spirit. Her “birth plan” was simple and her focus very clear. She wanted a calm and gentle birth in water, without intervention.

Our conversations throughout the weeks leading to her birth revealed her ability to surrender to the unknown and to trust what might lie ahead. She faced the fears that came up, as fears inevitably will do in those last few weeks. She educated herself on what she wanted and stayed focused on a positive and easy outcome.

The first I heard from Stephanie the night she went into labor was a phone call at 9pm. Her water broke and contractions had not yet begun so she was going to try to lie down and get some sleep. I too went to bed after making sure I had everything I needed. My doula bag with all its tricks, my comfy hospital clothes and my cooler packed. Sleep came very fast and very hard. I awoke to a text message from Stephanie at 10:30 saying she thought things might be speeding up, maybe I should be prepared. I got up and got dressed and received a call from her husband not long afterward. They were on their way to the hospital things started speeding up pretty fast. I was out the door before we got to good-bye. I arrived at 11:30.

I expected to see Stephanie and her husband when I walked in the room but was surprised to see such a full room. The midwife was already there and Stephanie was laboring very intently in a knee / chest position with her husband close at her side. He looked up at me and announced “We are 10cm!” with the biggest smile you can imagine on his face. I dropped my well prepared bag of tricks and took the task of keeping her hydrated with gentle reminders to keep her sounds low and deep, moving her energy down and out. It was obvious she was “in control” of her contractions. Her body seemed to be moving and swaying to a specific rhythm, one she had well defined. In moments responding to the needs of her body to push her baby out she made a few adjustments to her position and gave her baby all her focus.

Things were moving so fast the tub for the water birth never filled. In all the excitement the hose to the tub slipped out and no one noticed until we were all beginning to stand in water. The nurse rushed back in to sop up the floor with towels but we still had a water birth, well…only up to our feet and toes. Stephanie pushed her little girl out with just a few pushes, her husband and midwife working together as a team slowly guided the baby into daddy’s hands. The looks on his face were delightful! He was being totally immersed into a completely unknown world and in awe of every moment.  With every push his joy was spilling out and infecting all of us in the room. That last easy push and there she was all little 7 lbs of her, a perfect little girl, pink and happy.

The time was 12:37 a.m. – only 3 hours and 37 minutes after that first phone call. Everyone kept looking at each other saying “Wow! That just happened!” I especially love this photo of Stephanie because it says it all… she reported to me that her “pain level” was maybe a 6 and she kept thinking there is going to be more. I believe her healthy body and healthy mental approach to her babys’ birth contributed very much to such a gentle birth. There was a happy and alert baby nursing in no time.

When I came home to look at this little girl’s astrology chart I had to laugh. 4 planets in Aquarius were filling the skies that night! Her chart revealed that she was going to be a no-nonsense young lady and constantly shaping the world to meet her vivid and inventive imagination. Aquarius is the sign of the “water bearer” and very highly energetic! Well…that would describe her birth quite well…down to the two inches of water on the floor!

Aquarius Those born under the sign of Aquarius not only march to a different drummer, they make up new music as they go along.

For several days Holly was doing what we call prodomal labor. She wasn’t officially in “active labor”  Even though she was reported to be 4cm at her midwife appointment and was experiencing mild contractions she was not considered “in labor.” and reassured to go about her day and “real labor” would start and very likely she would have her baby this week. Sometimes this stage is referred to as “false labor” but most women will tell you…it feels very real to them.

On Tuesday morning, after I heard from a very defeated and teary Holly. She was feeling strained and drained by the constant contractions…she said they had been happening all day every 2 – 3 minutes, however they weren’t very intense or lasting very long. Holly is a first time mother, never having experience labor contractions before, she did not have a point of reference about these contractions or what is to come. I could hear in her voice she was feeling stressed and tired. I reassured her by reminding her of the process her body was going through. I encouraged her to see it as “progress” it just was not “measurable” yet. But it would be. I assured her that her body and her baby were working together towards her daughter’s birth. We talked about her fears and concerns, the “what if’s”  that were on her mind. I even assured her that it was possible with the first stage of her labor going so slow and easy that perhaps the later active part would move quite quickly. That seemed to cheer her up a bit.

Early labor is a time when the uterus is being prepared for birth. The cervix must thin and the early dilation stage can be very erratic and without any defined pattern. It can start and stop, it can come on very slow and mild and sometimes last for days. Holly had been experiencing contractions for several days. I had hoped this reassurance would help her find the calm she needed to guide her body in its process of opening.

I wasn’t surprised when I got a phone call that night from her husband at 11:00 pm. Holly’s water had broken and she was experiencing much more intense contractions, quite close together. We made a plan to meet at the hospital, for them only minutes away. Over the phone I could hear Holly in the background. Her voice was high and stressed and I could tell she was having difficulty with the contractions. She wasn’t up for talking with me on the phone…I took that as a sign that things were progressing pretty fast.

By the time I made the trip downtown to the hospital, found a place to park and made my way to labor and delivery Holly was well settled in to her room. She had been told her desired water birth wasn’t going to be an option. They had discovered meconium during her exam. The good news was that she was 7 cm. and things were looking very good!

When I walked into the room and looked at Holly I saw the face of a girl. She looked scared and uncertain and a little panicky. I could see she was worried whether or not she was going to be able to handle what was to come. I know there can be those moments of overwhelm…can I do this?? Am I going to be able to handle the pain? I could also see past her concerns to the part of her that knew exactly how to do this and what I saw emerge over the next few hours was a strong and confident woman, trusting her body and believing in herself.

I always encourage mothers to find a pattern. A pattern they can focus on that helps them break each contraction down. Taking them one at a time and staying in the moment. Fear comes from focusing on the past or the future. Being in the moment, taking things as they come and not worrying about what comes next can be very empowering. Strength comes from the realization that we have what it takes to handle this moment.

Holly’s ritual of labor was sitting on the birthing ball in the shower with her husband anchoring and grounding her with his love and support and a steady flow of ice chips for her to chew on. Each wave of contraction was met with gentle reminders to relax, lower her shoulders, let her voice go deep and low into her body. Listening to her body, moving when she needed to move, rocking with each contraction and breathing with low, deep purposeful sounds she moved through the following few hours reaching for the trust and confidence she needed.  When the nurse came in for an exam at 2:00 am she reported she was fully dilated. I could see the relief in Holly as her body seemed to relax even more, she moved into her contractions with fortitude and resolution. I heard her call from the shower with new found strength.. “I’m doing this..” as if for the first time she really understood how capable she was of bringing her daughter into the world.

She pushed as her body directed her for another hour in the shower. Midwife Margaret came in and sat with her, checking on baby and finding out she was doing fine. On Margaret’s encouragement I heard Holly say…”Oh my God!” as she touched her baby’s head, she was so close.

She moved to the bed and used a variety of knee chest positions as well as using the pushing bar. I watched her face with each push and I watched something get born INSIDE of Holly. She had been gathering a sense of her strength, learning to trust her body and believing in her self …and what I saw blossom in her during her pushing phase was her wisdom and power. It emerged in the outline of her face and literally unfolded in her body as she opened her whole being.

Her beautiful daughter was born letting the world know she had a powerful set of lungs. Which was good, since there was a great deal of meconium and her crying was helping clear out her lungs.  She was born at 4:09 am. Only 6 hours after Holly’s water broke. She emerged with a roar to let the whole world know she had arrived! Holly’s emergence was no less profound…she too had found a voice within her that I know will stay with her always.

I left watching a happy family, content little girl nursing and parents blissfully smiling and I was home before sunrise, feeling that all was right with the world. A new journey had begun.

Everleigh Sage

Every birth has its own path. The journey in and the final emergence are all part of a great sojourn. The journey guides women and their partners to a place of great unknowns. What will be discovered along the way is one of those ineffable things that life can only teach you with experience.

Lara’s labor journey began in the midst of “Snowpocolypse 2011″ The humorous name given to the 7″ snowfall that had buried most of Georgia under a blanket of white and made most roads impassible. We were blessed that little Ms. Everleigh waited until the roads were clear and safe enough for travel.

Lara’s water broke around 3:00pm, accompanied by gentle contractions every 1/2 hour or so and progressively getting closer together. She was choosing to labor at home as long as possible and was surrounded by family. The contractions picked up around 9pm and moved into a nice rhythm of 4 minutes and lasting a minute. We arrived at the hospital at 10pm. A place where Lara had been told by both OB practice and nursing staff this was going to be a welcoming place for her to have her privacy to labor as she desired and to have an un-medicated birth without interventions. In fact all parties concerned had helped her feel supported in her choices.

Rhythm interruptous occurred as the energy of labor began to slowly decline as she met obstacles to her promised easy and relaxed birth.  Beginning with a phone call from her doctor admonishing her for not rushing to the hospital after her water broke. A lengthy conversation unraveled into a need for Mama to step into her power. Her mind now distracted from her laboring body to the legalities and expectations she was facing. Her doctor was now focused on the augmentation of labor with rules and regulations of ruptured membranes and a concern of things that “could go wrong”.  I watched Lara move into her resolve as she drew upon the knowledge she had gained throughout her pregnancy. She knew that many practices in metro Atlanta allowed a woman to labor without intervention after her membranes ruptured. She also knew that those same practices did not insist on constant fetal monitoring, of which she was also refusing.  After this lengthy phone call and an appearance (at 2 am) to the hospital armed with ACOG brochures sharing that a host of “very intelligent men “have put this together” her doctor expressed he believed she should follow these recommendations.

Fortunately Lara had found many resources prior to her birth, she was prepared for the “what ifs” and we had discussed at length what was available to her to assist her during labor, she was aware that some of those things might be something she wanted to chose if the situation presented itself and she felt she needed it. But for the time being, she was trusting her body to labor naturally and trusting that her baby didn’t need constant monitoring. Her baby’s heartbeat was strong and an internal exam revealed she was 3cm dilated, her cervix not yet fully ripe – a  cervix her doctor had commented on as being “unfavorable” in her last office visit. She conceded to a port in her IV, 20 minutes monitoring out of every hour and a willingness to stay open to what was necessary as labor unfolded. and of course…with her signature on a “release of liability” form she was allowed to follow her instincts. AMA (against medical advisement)  isn’t popular…but it IS possible.

The rhythm of labor had subsided, almost stopping completely and the stress of conflict gave space for doubt and confusion. It is a marvel to see how connected the mind and body are during labor. Her questions filled this space as she began to worry about why might lie ahead…”will I be able to do this? What if I can’t? And at what point if I want one….MIGHT I get an epidural?”

The need for assurance and the return to trust became woven into her rhythm. The pace of the rhythm picked up gently at first but quickly returning to where she was when she arrived. We all celebrated by turning on the ipod and dancing. Lara moved with her body through each contraction, her time in the Dancing for Birth(TM) classes gave her a fun way to celebrate her labor. We did nice wide hip circles and belly dance moves and the whole room of us including the nurse did a little Molly Cyrus and topped it off with a little R&B. When Lara felt it was time to rest, she moved to the bed and through her contractions, trying to rest as much as possible, Daddy took a nap on the couch and we spent the night following the signals and Lara moving about in whatever way felt right for her labor. The rhythm was slow but steady throughout the night.

Pitocin has the effect of making the contractions longer, stronger and closer together. Labor naturally flows in that direction but Lara’s concerns were growing that something needed to happen to assist her body to shift into that mode. The doctor had said she had until 6 am before he would be back to assess her progress,  he actually gave her until 7. His exam revealed that her cervix had indeed ripened and was still at 3cm. At this point the next right move Lara felt she needed to make was to allow a small dose of pitocin. He agreed to a the lowest possible dose which was 1/2 of what he was recommending. She was appreciative of the time she had to labor on her own and confident that it was the necessary and best right choice. And so was this…allowing her rhythm to be augmented she plunged into the next phase of her journey.

Within a couple of hours her rhythm picked up and the contractions came in steady waves. Reaching into our collective tool bags we found ourselves moving into the focus of Lara’s labor and breaking down the passage of time as one contraction flowed into the next.  The months we spent in her yoga class with alignment, breath and relaxation were providing us with many valuable tools to ease through the next hours.

Ritual has a very valuable place in labor. The ritual that stems from each contraction as opening occurs. With each contraction Lara moved deeper into her inner world, the world where she and her daughter were laboring together for safe passage. She found her ritual in what we deemed her “tri-pod” a three pointed support of her husband, her sister and her doula. Each one assuming a job of acupressure and static pressure to help her body stay grounded while she escaped off into labor land. The comfort of consistency and focus guided her through the climb, the peak and peace of the decline. We were often interrupted by the labor nurse though with concerns that monitoring was picking up maternal heart rate instead of both. Their desire was to insert an internal fetal monitor. Lara’s desire was to hold off on that as long as possible and we used movement and repositioning to bring the distinct sound of both heartbeats out. Each time the baby was monitored, except for times like this when it wasn’t picking up but one Everleigh’s heartbeat was strong and very consistent. It was this consistency that softened the views of the staff and gave way to their allowing nature.

Lara at 10cm

At 10 am there was a huge celebration in the room as the nurse gave us all the news that Lara was 9 cm dilated and cervix totally effaced. The “unfavorable cervix” apparently deciding to comply. This news gave Lara a renewed sense of strength and focus. Adrenaline swept through everyone in the room. And then we returned back to our focus, our ritual and the unfolding rhythm of labor. The hours spent with a variety of positions and focused pushing using the bar, the ball and the comfort of her knee chest position all eventually gave way to some very focused pushing and eventually before her arrival an internal fetal monitor. An insistence by her doctor after he received the phone call that she was 9 cm.  We understood he was quite amazed to be getting this call. He had held true to his beliefs that she would not progress, her cervix would fail her and she was not going to be able to do this without the active participation and influence of medical interventions.

And while some of those interventions gave Lara the push she needed to move to the next level…she did not succumb to the auto-pilot of managed birth. She stayed strong and listened to the wisdom of her body, trusted her education and her choices and used the tools she acquired throughout her pregnancy. Her rhythm, her ritual was froth with her wisdom and self reliance and her trust of being able to surrender and be protected by her labor team. Little Everleigh Sage came into the world at 2:56 pm as peaceful as you can imagine. While she yelped and complained about the process  at first(mostly anyone intervening in her snugly contact to her mothers skin) she found herself easily comforted at her mama’s breast.

My three  favorite comments:

One: Immediately after her daughters birth Lara looked at me and said…
“I didn’t have anything for pain! It just slipped my mind.”

Two: The labor nurse observing the “team effort”…..
” You are like the fertility goddess with all your subjects around you.”

Three: The doctor entered the room when it was apparent pushing was going to produce results and he looks around the room and says…
“Well, it appears you were all right.”
(I appreciated that he honored this mother and her choices and acknowledged her intuition and resolve to having her birth, her way even though it was challenging what was “true” for him.)